closure

this desperation, dislocation, separation, condemnation, isolation, desolation...let it go

life, in my opinion, has this weird way of getting back at us for some past little sin that we did eons back. just when you think it has been forgiven and forgotten, life plays such a twist in your life that you just have to stop and wonder what prompted such a violent reaction. i think life is like a conservative exhibitionist (if there ever is such a thing); it gives you enough of a peek to arouse your sensations but just when you think you've solved it, BAM! it hits you right in the face and leaves you out to dry.

closure is just another perverse means of entertainment for life. you think and ponder for days, weeks, months and even years and finally come up with the guts to put closure to something and just as soon as that closure is accepted, you feel all the wind being sucked out of your lungs, leaving you breathless and broken. the easiest thing to move on from is forced closure where nothing's under your control. at least you know you couldn't have done anything more so you can accept the decision. when closure is brought about by you and you know it's the right thing to do but you just cannot make your heart accept it, it just kills you. it's like a worm eating you from the inside and you don't even know anything about it till it takes over your whole life.

how does one get over such things? people say time heals all wounds but do you honestly want to hear such a 'promising' phrase when you're suffering? i guess there is no other option but to accept it and move on. life is weird, it's wicked and vicious. live with it...